We're Awesome At Decorating

With Thanksgiving behind us, The Attitude and I decided to decorate the house for Christmas over the weekend.

While he headed outside to handle the outside lights, I rummaged through my storage bins and brought out the Christmas decorations. One of my favorite things is (and always has been) unwrapping all the tissue-wrapped ornaments and decorations and finding the perfect spot to place them around the house. I get this from the Looch. In fact, she echoed those exact thoughts at her house while Sisty and I were helping them decorate their house. I am my mother's daughter, what can I say?

I found our stockings and quickly realized they would have to stay in the storage bin for another year, considering I ripped down the mantle one day during Summer Renovations 2010.

But I couldn't leave the fireplace unadorned! And I hadn't done anything nerdy in a few days! So out came the sewing kit and I went to work making something in it's place.

The fabric store was having a huge sale on Saturday, so I snagged a bundle of quilting fabric for $5.99. I knew I wanted to make bunting (I'm kind of on a bunting-kick. Back off.) so it was as simple as measuring the length of the fireplace and then eye-balling the size of the flags to figure out how many I should cut.

My flags were 5 1/2" by 7", and I used 9 flags for 60" of ribbon.

Then I pinned them to the back of the ribbon and used invisible thread to hand stitch the flags. I wasn't precise about the spacing - mostly because I was watching TV and was tired of measuring things - but they ended up about 1.5" to 2" apart. Guess I'm learning to embrace imperfection.**

Ta-Da! Bunting!!

And here's the entire room...

**See what I mean about imperfection? I didn't even stop to straighten out the pictures or ask the Attitude to get out of the mirror.

And close-ups of my two favorite ornaments...

Next weekend is our girls' lunch to exchange ornaments (me, Sisty and the Looch). Can't wait to add a few more to my tree.

Oh, and the outside looks amazing! The Attitude more than made up for his toenail catastrophe by tucking away his Scrooge-y-ness and hanging the lights perfectly!

Your move, neighbors.

Twinks

Growing up, Sisty and I often fell victim to Loochie's penchant for symmetry. When we shared a room, our beds were the same: twins with matching duvets. When we got haircuts, they were the same: shoulder length with bangs. And back when she was still in charge of selecting our outfits, they were more often than not...you guessed it...the same. Probably because it cut down her shopping time. One outfit in two sizes? She was in and out of the store like bing bang boom!

Of course holidays were obvious occasions for this kind of activity...


(See! Matching outfits AND haircuts!! I wasn't lying!!)

But everyday outings were fair game, too.



We eventually asserted our independence and started selecting our own duds. Of course Sisty is on record for much better choices, I'll admit. But the point is that we haven't really worn the same thing since 1994.

Until I moved to Nashville.

I credit two people for my fashion sense - Alexis and Sisty. Schmalexis laid down the foundation and Sisty continues to encourage my outfit assembly. I'd like to think that most days I look like a reasonably decent member of society. Even stylish, if I put my mind to it!

But lately we've found ourselves drifting back to our roots. Or rather, to the Looch's roots.

This Sunday night we all had dinner together, and this is how we arrived (separately, I might add)...



Neither of us had taken showers. Neither of us had so much as SPOKEN the entire day. Yet, we somehow managed to wear the exact same oversized sweatshirt, cropped leggings, and brown (f)Ugg boots.

Naturally Loochie had to take a picture. All those years of subjecting us to matching outfits while we grumbled, and here were are some 15 years later showing up at her house dressed like twinks! At least WE can claim it as accidental.

Weekend In Pictures

Was scrolling through my blackberry pics and realized they were a pretty decent snapshot of the past week or so...

Threw a party (with 200 of my closest junior league friends) at a mansion - it even had an elevator and secret passageways! Attempting discretion, I could only snap a picture of the piano room. The chandelier in the foyer was four times the size of this one.



Then I went out to the Factory at Franklin for 'Tis the Season - another junior league thing - and discovered this gem in the ladies' room. It was one of those ads on the back of the stall door. I wonder if Tad "LaserTad" McKenzie's girlfriend is comfortable knowing women are scamming on her boyfriend while doing their business. Guess not, since she's "the hottest girl in town". That's believable.



Pretty standard Attitude.



Watching a movie with Shoobs.



Sisty was in charge of one thing for Thanksgiving: crescent rolls. Unfortunately she was sabotaged by Aldi. In other words, she blew it.



Shrek and Donkey, discovering the dragon in front of Princess Fiona's castle.



Spidey kept me company while we watched Shrek on his quest.



Sunday was for decorating the Christmas tree and the house - I handled the inside and the Attitude did an excellent job with the outside. But that's for tomorrow's post...

Aaaand....I Caved

I was trying to be a grown-up about this and wait until the Sunday matinee, but...

EFF THAT! WE'RE GOING TO SEE DEATHLY HALLOWS TONIGHT!!



There's only one appropriate response: yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

The One Where I Almost Passed Up A Social Invitation To Stay Home and Eat Pie.

I have a long list of blogs I read daily. Some are celebrity blogs, some are about food, others are about random nonsense that I have no business clogging my brain with. Yesterday as I was scrolling through my daily reads, I learned that we've entered something of a holy week. Yes, my friends, P-Dub has deemed these next five days: Pie Week. And hooo boy do I need to hold a vigil and pray.

Yesterday's recipe? Apple pie. But not just any apple pie...dreamy apple pie. So named for it's deliciousness and yummy goodness.

Coincidentally, I'd been battling the urge to whip up some baked goods since the weekend (something about Sisty singing this song over and over again factored into that). But I take my holy weeks very seriously, and that meant starting a grocery list of what I needed to grab after work in order to make some dreams come true. See what I did there? I've got puns for days...

What I forgot was that yesterday was Monday. And Monday Night Football was on. And some friends were gathering at the local watering hole to watch the game. I was invited (rather, expected) to attend.

I figured I had enough time to run home, mix everything together and get the pie baking in just enough time to make it over to the bar within the first quarter. What I didn't figure was that The Attitude was cooking for the house and the kitchen was occupied. So I ignored the clock while waiting for dinner and while cleaning up from dinner, and then ignored it some more while I was peeling my apples and mixing my crumbly topping. It wasn't until I placed it in the oven did I realize that the game had already started and my friends were probably already three beers in.

And then I decided to blow them off.

The pie just looked so scrumptious bubbling away in my warm, 375 degree oven. My sweatpants were just so comfortable after a long day of wearing tights and a fancy dress.

And the words SPINSTER were just so flattering all over my damn forehead.

I pulled the pie from the oven, set it on the counter to cool, and promptly scooted over to the bar in socially appropriate clothing. Phew!!! Loneliness and bleak future AVOIDED.

And you know what? The pie was even more delicious when I got home from the night. My boys agreed.

Pinewood Derby.

A few weekends ago the Attitude was commissioned by a not-so-handy-but-really-hilarious-friend to build a derby car for the second annual pine wood derby race at i + w. It turned out super rad. Everyone laughed. I can't post pictures here because the Looch reads this blog.

Then, on race day, I had this conversation with David J...

Me: Do you want to stop by and see the race?

Him: Umm, yeah I guess so. Are you going to stay long?

Me: Nah, probably less than an hour. I'm not really into it.

Him: Done. I'll pick you up.

As soon as we arrived I ate my words. Even though it was drizzling a little, the turnout was huge and the food was delish. More than 40 people entered cars - it was so cool to see them all lined up on the judge's table. Someone even made a monster car with the Nashville skyline on top! The race was MC'ed by an awesome old man from the Boy Scouts Asssociation. Everyone crowded around the track to watch their cars race for the prize. It was so fun!!

I snapped a few (terrible) blackberry pics...

The start of the track - check out that decline.



The finish line had electronic scoring. I'm pretty sure lane 2 was rigged. But you didn't hear that from me...



We stayed until the very end and were able to see the cash money prize winners accept their trophies. The boys say next year they'll smoke the competition.

SSB

You know that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie reveals that her SSB - secret single behavior - is to stand in her kitchen eating a stack of crackers with jelly on them while reading Vogue? And she acts like it's the craziest thing in the world to do that, but it's her thing and she doesn't want to give it up because Aidan is about to move in? Well...I'd take stacked cracker eating over the SSB that goes on in my house any day.

It all started with your regularly scheduled weekend programming: Heidi Vacuums The House. The Attitude walked in and suggested I rearrange the sectional since one of the corners was looking a little worse for the wear and he "couldn't even sit there anymore". Talk about an injustice, what with THE ENTIRE REST OF THE COUCH to lounge on as another option.

But since I was already moving things around, I thought I'd just work my way down the line and assassinate some dust bunnies lurking underneath the furniture. I had no idea I was about to board the Gag Express, first stop Barfville.



Pretty unoffensive, right? Just a few renegade crumbs and a tangled extension cord. I've seen Applebees' dirtier than this. But then I took a closer look and ran outside screaming. Seriously I'm not being dramatic. The Attitude was outside and I was NOT about to let this go down without some sort of explanation.

What are those little specs, you ask?



Toenails. Just hanging out like a little village of Filth right beneath the mountain town of Dirty Baseboards.



There are no words. I mean...I knew The Attitude was gross, and I've learned to tolerate (most of) his weirdo behavior, but this is where I had to draw the line. Dis. Gust. Ing.

So I did what any sister would do. I documented the entire calamity and posted it on the interwebs.

Of course his response was to laugh and tell me that he puts them there to scare away the spiders. And I'll admit I've fallen for more ridiculous stories than that in our tenure as brother and sister, but come on. He wasn't even embarrassed! He embraced it like he had discovered some sort of awesome solution to personal grooming, like I was the dummy for inconveniencing myself by clipping my toenails over a trashcan.

When I finally stopped gagging I fired up the electrolux and erased the nastiness from the living room. Then I added "discovering hidden treasures behind the furniture" to my list of things that happen when you live alone.

Next time, I'll look for someone who has more...hygenic...SSB's.

Ketchup.

The Halloween parade was awesome and Shelden did a great job wearing his costume! Loochie said next year she's getting coordinating ones for them BOTH to wear. Can't wait.



Sisty played paparazzi while we were walking through the neighorhood. The goosinator was so excited to meet all his new friends and show off his snazzy wings.



Shelden wanted to be the unofficial judge of the costume contest, so we stopped on the corner (see us over there on the left?) and waved at all the spooky creatures marching through the neighborhood.



I wish I had a better picture of this woman's costume. Remember it was 4:30 on Sunday afternoon and a family-friendly parade was happening outside. She stumbled to the end of her driveway in a Wonder Woman costume that was two sizes too small wearing fishnets that revealed way too much of her coslopus (shout out to Chelsea Handler!) and tried to give out candy to the kids. The little girl next to me took one look at her and said, "Oh look Mommy! She's an American in a bathing suit!" I don't blame her for getting confused.



After the parade there was a party with carnival games and wine. We walked back to my house and sat out front with our basket of candy to greet all the sweet little kids as they trick-or-treated through the neighborhood. Jason from next door creeped up behind us and scared me so bad! He was trying to keep an eye on his boys and their friends as they raced from house to house getting into all kinds of trouble. But secretly he was giving them tips while their mom wasn't looking. It was pretty great.



Other things that have been happening?

• I've started a scrap book to document all the wedding-planning that I'll give to Sisty after the big day. I have a few pages done and I'm excited to see how it all comes together.

• After a shocking realization that almost lost me my membership card to our generation, David J rented the first two installments of the Indiana Jones series and we watched them over the weekend. So awesome. Related: popcorn with hot sauce is stupid-delicious.

• While cleaning the living room I found a fortune lost inside the couch that was cryptically accurate. Don't you hate it when that happens?

• I also found something else behind the couch...stay tuned for the horror that lies ahead.

I'm off to make my Christmas wish list for this year. Gotta start early when you're retro-remixing your holidays!